A Trip to Australia

I got this from a friends blog...and I just loved this analogy... which reflects many of our feelings through this infertility/adoption journey on which we are on.

By Diane Armitage printed in the April 21, 1995 "Dear Abby" column:


Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You've heard it's a wonderful place, you've read many guidebooks and feel certain you're ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip.

So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you; you'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait--and wait--and wait.

Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, "Relax. You'll get on a flight soon." Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair!"

After a long time the ticket agent tells you, "I'm sorry, we're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat."

"By BOAT!" you say. "Going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money. I really had my heart set on going by plane." So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat.

It is a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. (Isn't that the truth!) You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip.

Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather than by air.

People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are about to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, "Oh, be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible; traveling by sea is so easy."

You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you get there, but in the place itself.

Adoption

I have decided to do a yard sale to raise money for adoption. There are many adoption grants out there as well, but in order to be eligible for any of the grants, you need to raise money yourself. I am excited to proceed with adoption and hope that we can get our family here.

My thoughts all random...

I found out the news on June 2 that we were not pregnant. I dropped to the floor and sobbed. I was crying so hard that I vomited. My heart aches. It's now June 4 and I am still a wreck. I am heartbroken, angry, sad, any emotion that one could feel, I feel right now. One moment I just break out crying, then next I am screaming. My heart physically hurts. This is a pain that I wish upon no one. No one knows the pain of infertility unless one has gone through this. As I sit here and write this I am balling. I wanted so badly for my little boy to be a big brother. I yearn for the chance to hold another baby in my arms to raise another child in the gospel and give them the life that they deserve. I have thought of embryo adoption, but then again that is expensive ($5,000 - $7,000), I have thought about adoption through LDS services or other agencies, but then again that is expensive ($10,000 - $15,000). We are broke...we used every cent we had to pay for our last IVF, we short sold our house to save money because to us FAMILY is more important than any house, car, or material thing. My heart just aches, I am just lost and at a dead end. Those of you reading this and have children of your own and don't struggle with infertility..CHERISH them...don't EVER take them for granted. I realize just how LUCKY I am to have my little boy. He is my sunshine. It's not fair that some children are born to families who don't want them or abuse them or KILL them like the Ethan Stacy. But life just isn't fair. Hopefully one day I will see the bigger picture that the Lord has in store for me, but for now I just have to stay strong and have faith and get through this hard trial and time. Just please cherish your children.

How it all works..

It starts with going on birth control for about 10-15 days, then you are on Lupron (luprolide) injection shots for about 2 weeks, then you have a suppression check and if that turns out good, then you start on your FSH hormone shots which grow the follicles. Then when your follicles are ready (doctor decides this), you go a trigger shot of HCG which is done exactly 36 hours before your eggs are releases and at that time, you have surgery to harvest your eggs on the 35th hour. After the eggs are harvested (egg retrieval), then the sperm is injected into the egg (ICSI), they are then watched and transfered back into the uterus either on Day 3 or Day 5 of Transfer. After the Egg retrieval, you start on progesterone and 81mg of asprin. On the day of Transfer (either day 3 or day 5), you are then on bed rest for 24 hours. You then have the two week wait (2WW) until you go and take your blood test to find out if you are pregnant.

A quick little tidbit ...

To tell you a little bit about us, I am a 28 y/o female and my husband is 31 y/o. We suffer from Male Factor infertility ( my husband does not have the acrosome on his sperm to bury into the egg therefore we have to do a procedure called ICSI)as well as possibly Female infertility from me being premature at birth and weighing 1 lb. 14 oz. We did IVF back in 2005 in Colorado with Dr. William Schoolcraft and David Gardner. I don't remember how many eggs we got, but we did a day 5 transfer and put in two blasts, neither of those took and we did not have any left over to freeze. We did IVF back in 2006 at Reproductive Care Center and they retrieved 16 eggs. was able to do ICSI on 9 of those eggs, out of those 9, 5 fertilized. We had two good quality (8 cell and 7 cell) and a fair quality 5 cell. the other two were 4 cell and poor quality. We transferred 3 embryos (8c,7c,5c) on day 3 and out of those three, one of them took and he is now a healthy 3 year old boy. We just did our third IVF cycle at Reproductive Care Center in Sandy, Utah and we got 21 eggs, out of those 21, we were able to do ICSI on 12. Out of those 12, 7 fertilized. We had two 8 cell fair minus quality, one 7 cell good quality, two 4 cell fair minus quality and two 5 cell fair minus quality. We did a day three transfer and put in 4 embryos (two 8c, one 7c and one 5c), we just got our BFN yesterday (June 2).

Fast Facts about Infertility

Infertility is a disease that results in the abnormal functioning of the male or female reproductive system. Both the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recognize infertility as a disease.

Infertility is defined as the inability to conceive after one year of unprotected intercourse (six months if the woman is over age 35) or the inability to carry a pregnancy to live birth.

Infertility affects 7.3 million people in the U.S. This figure represents 12% of women of childbearing age, or 1 in 8 couples. (2002 National Survey of Family Growth)

Approximately one-third of infertility is attributed to the female partner, one-third attributed to the male partner and one-third is caused by a combination of problems in both partners or, is unexplained. (http://www.asrm.org/)

A couple ages 29-33 with a normal functioning reproductive system has only a 20-25% chance of conceiving in any given month (National Women’s Health Resource Center). After six months of trying, 60% of couples will conceive without medical assistance. (Infertility As A Covered Benefit, William M. Mercer, 1997)

Approximately 44% of women with infertility have sought medical assistance. Of those who seek medical intervention, approximately 65% give birth. (Infertility As A Covered Benefit, William M. Mercer, 1997)

Approximately 85-90% of infertility cases are treated with drug therapy or surgical procedures. Fewer than 3% need advanced reproductive technologies like in vitro fertilization (IVF). (http://www.asrm.org/)

The most recently available statistics indicate the live birth rate per fresh non-donor embryo transfer is 28%. (Assisted Reproductive Technology Success Rates, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2005)

Fifteen states have passed laws requiring that insurance policies cover some level of infertility treatment: Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Hawaii, Illinois, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Montana, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Rhode Island, Texas and West Virginia. (For more on this visit the insurance coverage section of resolve.org.)

Offering a comprehensive infertility treatment benefit with appropriate utilization controls may actually reduce costs and improve outcomes by eliminating the inappropriate use of costly covered procedures and allowing specialists to use the most effective, efficient treatment for a specific type of infertility. (Infertility As A Covered Benefit, William M. Mercer, 1997)

A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine (August 2002) found that the percentage of high-order pregnancies (those with three or more fetuses) was greater in states that did not require insurance coverage for IVF. The authors of the study noted that mandatory coverage is likely to yield better health outcomes for women and their infants since high-order births are associated with higher-risk pregnancies.
Updated 2/28/08 (Resolve.org)

Take Action on a State Level

While there are 15 other states that are mandated states to cover infertility, Utah is not one of them.
Contact your local representative and ask them to introduce legislation to require infertility treatment coverage.